What does your comment on social media tell about you?

After having somehow weird conversation on social media few days before, I write this blog to share some insight about what the comments that we post on social media tells others about us.

Again, as this matter might become sensitive to some individuals, I would like to state my disclaimer as follows: All views expressed on this blog are my own and do not represent the opinion of any entity whatsoever and are not intended to attack any person, organization or group.

It is not the first time that I experienced this kind of heated and weird kind of argument on social media. Mainly, in many, not all, conversations made by Ethiopian community, it is not surprising to see insulting and low level kinds of comments. It has been said many time about “what your social media profile tells about you?” and “what your post tells about you?” at different times by different people. And now, I would like to add more about the comments that we give on social media tells about us in the light of helping the Ethiopian community to exchange their views and opinions in a constructive and civilized manner. 
    

People comment on a variety of topics on social media. You can tell a lot about a person just by what they decide to comment/post/share on theirs and others social media accounts. Some studies suggest that what you choose to comment/post/share on social media reflects a lot about what kind of persona you have. Moreover, recent research suggests that every time you comment/post/share to social media you may be revealing more about yourself than you realize. For in depth reading please refer to Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Journal of Personality of Individual Differences.

Many of the studies discussed about profile pictures, posts, shares, status updates and comments as well. I would like to focus mainly on the comments, as I observed so many heated and low level conversations on social media in the Ethiopian community, especially when it is about politics or religion. It is obvious that our community tend to involve in an opinionated way on Facebook when it comes to politics or religion. On the other hand, in the western society these kinds of issues deter people from engaging in the conversation. Unfortunately, the Ethiopian community mostly deter from engaging on intellectual discussions and post, not saying all Ethiopian community in general. Other than that, strong viewpoints, challenging and new ideas about politics or religion make the Ethiopian community shy away from involving in a decent discussion, probably due to lack of experience or fear of challenges etc.

According to some studies there are different personality types that can be reviled depending on our comments on social media. Lower self-esteem persona, narcissistic persona, extrovert persona, People who enjoy new experiences and have an open mind and People high in conscientiousness, to mention some. From my observation, depending on the way people comments on social media, the majority of the Ethiopian community circle reflects mainly the first three types. Let us see how we can tell who is what from the comments by listing few points:

1   Lower self-esteem persona:

a.  Their comments mainly are offensive,

b.  They  personalize the comments that they read, never distinguish the idea and person,

c.  They tend to control the external environment or the situation than their internal feeling,

d.  They use very low level insulting vocabularies and promote division, hatred and anger,

e. They assume too much about the other parties who are involved in the conversation,

f.  They lie in order to defend their idea no matter what other know about the issue,

g.  They are accusing other parties in the conversation instead of confronting their ideas,

h.  They try to humiliate the other parties by using what they afraid of (as they think that people behave the same way),

i.    They do their best to look as smart as the other parties in the conversation.

2   Narcissistic persona:

a.   They jump in other peoples conversation and seek attention,

b.  They put their comments wherever they can(sometimes many comments in one post before even getting a reply),

c.   They are often envious of others or believes that others are envious of others or them,

d.   They always have a sense of entitlement,

e.   They show self-importance of themselves or those they back,

f.    They have no room to listen to others.

3   Extrovert persona:

a.  They love to comment about social activities and their everyday life,

b.  They don’t have any problem in writing any type of comment,

c.  They tend to engage with many people in the conversation,

d. Mainly focus on what they want to say rather than on the topic of the conversation.

4   People who enjoy new experiences and have an open mind:

a.   These kind of people simply enjoy in having an intellectual conversations,

b.   They put their comments about the topic in order to share information,

c.   They try to understand the comments other parties before they reply,

d.  Never bothered to jump in other people conversation, but they enjoy reading and get some information.

5   People high in conscientiousness:

a. They write or comment more frequently about their children, parents or spouse, 

b. They are on social media to communicate and share information.

Why should we know all about these? Why I wanted to write a blog on this matter? There is only one answer to this. In order to give some insight to my readers on what they should do before they engage in writing a comment in a conversation or a post. So what are some wise steps that we should follow before we comment?

1   After you read the post or the comment try to understand what it is.

2   Take time and think before you comment. Why?T

a. Talking face-to-face to someone is not easy. Sometimes face-to-face conversations are even messy and emotionally involved, as we don’t have enough time to think about what to say, plus we have to read facial signs and body language.

b.  On the other hand, on online conversation, we have enough time to construct and refine our idea. In psychology term it is called self-presentation: “positioning yourself the way you want to be seen.”

3  When you write your comment, focus on the idea that is shared not on the person who shared it,

4   
     Do your best to put a clear comment, make it short if you can, or use dot points or list,

5   By no means do not make your comment personal, don’t take others comments personal as well,

6  
     Avoid offensive words, low level and negative connotations, and avoid deceits,

7   Before you post your comment, always ask the following:

a. Am I addressing the issue in a positive manner?

b. Is my wording constructive?

c.  Am I confronting the idea or the person?

d.  What does my comment tell about me?

REMEMBER, Social media is public. Every time you comment badly about something or someone, the whole social media spectators can see it. People will judge you based on several criteria: how quickly did you respond, what was your reaction, what was the other party reaction about your comment and how did the whole thing end.